How to let go of being a "good" person -- and be a better person

The puzzling psychology of ethical behavior. Read online

This week on TED.com November 3, 2018

Talk of the week Dolly Chugh: How to let go of being a "good" person -- and become a better person 11:48 minutes · Filmed Oct 2018 · Posted Nov 2018 · TED@BCG Toronto What if your attachment to being a "good" person is holding you back from becoming a better person? In this accessible talk, social psychologist Dolly Chugh shares the puzzling psychology of ethical behavior -- like why it's so hard to acknowledge when you're wrong -- and shows how the path to becoming a better person starts with learning to accept your own mistakes. "In every other part of our lives, we give ourselves room to grow -- except in this one, where it matters most," Chugh says. Watch now »

Playlist of the week The eternal search to prolong life Why are we so obsessed with age? From quests for youth to immortality, these speakers explore the science of staying alive. Watch » 9 TED Talks • Total run time 2:26:58

This week's new TED Talks Have you ever actually read the terms and conditions for the apps you use? Finn Lützow-Holm Myrstad and his team at the Norwegian Consumer Council have, and it took them nearly a day and a half to read the terms of all the apps on an average phone. Learn about the personal information you've agreed to let companies collect -- and how they use it in ways you may not expect. Watch » Are China and the US doomed to clash? Taking lessons from a historical pattern called "the Thucydides Trap," political scientist Graham Allison shows why a rising China and a dominant United States could be headed towards a violent collision no one wants -- and how we can summon the common sense and courage to avoid it. Watch » How do you turn a memory of a traumatic event into hard evidence of a crime? Memory scientist Julia Shaw is working on this challenge, combining tools from science and artificial intelligence to change how people can report harassment. She shares three lessons (and a smart new app) that will help if you've been harassed or discriminated against and want to be heard. Watch » Technology architect Fadi Chehadé helped set up the infrastructure that makes the internet work. In a crisp conversation with curator Bryn Freedman, Chehadé discusses the ongoing conflict between the West and China over artificial intelligence, how tech companies can become stewards of the power they have to shape lives and economies ... and what everyday citizens can do to claim power on the internet. Watch »

Read more on ideas.ted.com 5 basic skills of power, and how you can learn to use them  How to understand systems of power -- and claim yours. Read » What it's like to take a midlife gap year When Caroline Harper suddenly found herself jobless in her mid-40s, she decided to step off the corporate ladder ... Read » How can you uncover your best self? Look for your micro-motives The little things that make your heart sing are the key to fulfillment. Learn a fun trick for figuring them out. Read »

Quote of the Week “ We have this definition of good person that's either-or. Either you are a good person or you're not. Either you have integrity or you don't. And in this either-or definition, there's no room to grow. But this is not what we do in most parts of our lives. Like, if you needed to learn accounting, you would take an accounting class, or if you become a parent, we pick up a book and we read about it. We talk to experts, we learn from our mistakes, we update our knowledge, we just keep getting better. But when it comes to being a good person, we think it's something we're just supposed to know." Dolly Chugh How to let go of being a "good" person — and become a better person (Try reading the transcript)

New podcast: The TED Interview Sam Harris on using reason to build our morality: Many philosophers draw a hard line between the worlds of facts and values, but not Sam Harris. In this thought-provoking conversation with head of TED Chris Anderson, he makes the case that reason can indeed answer moral questions, and then explores the many controversies that emerge from that claim. Moral superiority? Cultural superiority? How about moral progress? Chris and Sam dig in to discuss the right ways to think about defining right from wrong, and reason’s role in it all. Subscribe to The TED Interview here or on your favorite podcast platform.

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